Wednesday, October 26, 2011

You Know You're a PK When...

1. You're taking a class from your dad, and he says, "Oh, and tell your mom that I'm going over to the hospital later today" and it's normal.
2. When the main things you want to know in a phone message is which hospital the person is, what the person's name is, and the person's condition.
3. When you're the stand in acolyte.
4. When you've got the church year memorized.
5. When you help change the altar things even though you are't on the altar guild.
6. When you go over to the church with your dad the day before a special church service and helps him rearrange (and tells him that such-and-such is crooked, or the flowers are lopsided, or the candle wicks are bent over so that they're even more flame-proof than ever)
7. When you get excited when the church gets hand-me-down oil-filled candles (which are not flame proof; they normally cost about a million dollars each, so hand-me-downs are nice)
8. When you notice that he dragged his sleeve through the Communion wine and you tell him later.
9. When he gives you a job to do in the middle of the service, and you go do it.
10. When you know how to work the sound system.
11. When you carry lunch over to the church building.
12. When you tap-dance in the church hallway and nobody minds.
13. When your mom teaches Sunday school and all the little kids flock to her and follow her around, and you call her Mother Duck.
14. When you know where the altar guild cabinet thing key is hidden.
15. When you know where all the light switches are.
16. When the secretary says that your dad has gone to the hospital, and you don't panic.
17. When you run back to the office to get candy for the children's sermon because your dad forgot some.
18. When you know how to bow properly.
19. When you and your dad teach the other acolytes and the deacons how to bow properly.
20. When you help scrape candle wax off of the flame-throwers.
21. When you know what a flame-thrower is.
22. When you've helped old ladies with stairs and crock-pots at least five times in your life.
23. When you don't know half the people in the congregation, but they all know you.
24. When you help fold bulletins.

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